hiney...

"hiney" prounounced hee-nay, NOT hi-nee :)
means "behold" in hebrew.

there is a song going through my head a lot lately that i learned from a jewish singing group called d'veykus. they have a number of incredible albums out with lyrics that touch the soul. one of them is translated into this:

behold the days shall come, that i will send a famine in the land.
not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water,
but of hearing the words of the Lord.

today was a challenging day at work. the news was playing reports of a shooting at a school in minnesota. the life of terry shaivo is still in the hands of the government. a co-worker became so overwhelmed with life that she left work, at her wits end, just moments after our shift started. she has probably lost her job. i work with very fragile and severely disabled adults, but even they seemed to be especially disturbed today. there were "behaviours", illnesses, and accidents galore (all while we were short-staffed due to the breakdown of our friend).

i could go on and on with a list of all the troubles around me... but that would be fruitless. what i am learning to do is to keep my eyes on the Lord. earlier this morning, i thought i was having a bad day because i found out that financial aid will not cover $3,000 of my schooling expenses. i know that i will not qualify for a loan, and no-one in my immediate family can help me out there... but, God was quick to show me that there is no room for complaining in my life! He has blessed me so abundantly!

my family may not be full of the richest or most financially sound people in the world, but i have an amazing emotional support network. i may not be able to save the life of terry shaivo, but i can pray for her and her loved ones, and trust that there is a merciful and loving God who wants us all to remember that real and abundant life begins after this one ends. i could be angry at the young man who shot and killed so many just a state away from here, but instead i am moved to compassion for all youth that are struggling without the type of family and love that i know.

it is my blessed privelege and responsibility to maintain a positive attitude, pray, walk in confidence, and act with as much conviction and strength as possible. becoming overwhelmed, depressed, or letting anger control my thoughts and actions would help no-one. in fact, i believe it would make problems much, much worse. i am not silly enough to believe that i am super-woman, with emotions of steel, and energy that just won't quit (in fact, i am known for being exactly the opposite)... but i am already seeing the evidence of the grace and provision that is available to me when i drop to my knees, throw my hands in the air, and trust in the saving and sustaining power of Jesus.

all in all, my day at work turned out to be rather peaceful. my thoughts were scattered and my body is sore, but 2 people managed to care for 13 needy individuals and laugh while they were at it. i learned a lot about cooperation, pacing myself, and the presence of God in stressful times. and now? i'm going to sleep! :) g'night...

carrie